Day #30 of a Meme.

Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy

Writing for NaNoWriMo is a challenge for me. I know, sometimes, I may say that it's easy and I rave about how much I love it. But it is a challenge for me, and there are days where I hate it...there are days when I simply do not want to write. And that is where it becomes a challenge for me. The challenge isn't when I get stuck in writing or have writer's block...when I come to those, I just throw in an extra murder and get past it. It's when I do not feel like writing that I get challenged. Because, then at that point, the only way I continue is by disclipline.
I am very lazy and do not like being discliplined. It's hard for me to simply get up at the same time every morning! Or to even eat breakfast every day! Disclipline is hard.
But every year, during NaNoWriMo, I have the pressure on me...I am so competitive, that I feel if I do not reach the end, then I'm a failure. And so, the dread of being a failure overcomes the desire to give in and not be discliplined.
Shouldn't it be that way about everything I do in life? That I push myself in that way for everything...that I do not give up in my walk with God. My walk with God is like a competition...it is even likened to a race in His Word. It is something to be discliplined in, and if I give up, it's failing in the race.
Here I am, competing in a competition where the prize is merely the honor of saying that I wrote 50,000 words in one month...maybe I get a free, published copy of my book...maybe I get a banner declaring me a winner. But all in all, what is that all worth? Nothing!
Compare that to the prize I will win at the end of the spiritual race! Eternal life! In the presence of God!
And now, compare which of the two competitions I show more disclipline in! Ouch. Wake up call!!
And just how often am I like that in all the competitions in my life? Am I more discliplined in the competition of pursuing my dreams than in pursuing God?
Am I more discliplined in pursuing the things of this world than in pursuing in God?
OUCH. Wake up call again!
I'm discovering more and more, that I am most discliplined in pursuing things for myself, for my comfort, than I am in pursuing God.
I can't merely say that I can't be that discliplined...because I prove that I can be discliplined when I don't even want to be! When I don't want to write, I still move on with my writing...all for the sake of avoiding being a failure. If I can do that, surely, I can be discliplined enough in my race for a life with God! Which is more important? Failure in a writing race? Or failure in the most important race of my life?
The choice is up to me...I know it's IN me to choose to become discliplined. I may not have the strength to keep it up, but that's where I get a benefit! God is there to give me the strength I need! See, I even get help when I need it! But it's me who has to make the decision to actually choose to even compete. And it's up to me to bide by that decision.

Anywho, sorry for the ramble...just some thoughts that have been running loose in my head! :) And, the meme DID say I could write whatever I fancied. :D