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Showing posts with label iphone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label iphone. Show all posts

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Living Life...

One could always come up with some perfectly adequate excuses for not having kept up with blogging...
one could say, "I've been swamped at work..."
one could say, "I've been dealing with family stuff..."
one could say, "I've been in the hospital. Dying."
one could say, "An alligator bit off my right hand..."
one could say, "I lost the password to my blog..."

Wait, let's go back to the alligator one. It's much more interesting. But if we're going to be completely honest with each other, I've simply been lazy. I really have no legitimate excuse, as I work part-time and have plenty of time to keep up with updating my blog.

Would some photos make up for the absence of newsiness? Yes? Okay, let's start with the prettiness.



In spite of the laziness of my life, I've filled my time with the little things of life that keep you occupied. Nothing particularly worth while to creating change in the world but little things that make your heart happy, boost your esteem, and fill your soul with vanilla-pudding kind of peace. (Smooth and creamy...now I'm hungry.)

Those little moments that we so often just glide by without even a second glance. Little moments of magic, moments that if we just stop long enough to capture with a capture, we'll see just how beautiful they are. This is my life at the moment...because in spite of going crazy with no school and only a part-time job to keep me occupied, I am also distracted by the little, good moments.

I'm taken back in time with the dance of a pen in my hand as it begins a letter with, "Dear Rose..." and the up and down loops of f's and g's and y's in my cursive. It's an old and well-loved motion, a piece of my life on a piece of paper. Enclosed in its envelope home, it'll fly it's merry way across waters to reach it's new destination. Magic. 


There's the moments where you come home and you hesitate over a book or a movie. But then your soul decides it needs some uplifting...no, it needs some spilling. And you let it pour out of you as music floods your soul and words drift onto the page of your journal. Sometimes it means exclamation points, italics as only a very Emily Starr soul can understand, and sometimes it means words all in caps and illustrations and word circles. Sometimes it means an EXPLOSION of words. From the comfort of your bed, from the vividness of your mind...you treat your soul to word therapy and you realize what this is. Magic. 


There are mornings when you drown yourself in cup after cup of tea, and you let yourself sink into the energy that flies from your fingertips. The snap of the shutter, the whir of the photos uploading onto your laptop. The excited breathing as you click through each photo, looking for the gem you made through a lens.
The excitement of multitasking as your fingers quickly ease over the keys, editing each photo, tweaking it just a skosh (Skosh: a form of measurement) to perfection, and figuring out your schedule. Making your photos while you cross each day that has slipped by, realizing you've not even come close to capturing enough of the moments in your life as each day goes hopping by. Magic. 


I may give in to my laziness of avoiding posting on my blog, but this doesn't mean I'm just letting my life slip by unnoticed or unappreciated. I am filled with love for these beautiful moments that I'm too lazy to always capture on my blog. Mugs of coffee, cups of tea, random photo shoots, music blaring, journal-, letter-, and novel-writing, spontaneous dance and tea parties with little sisters, movie nights with besties...I am living life and I am loving all these little moments of magic. 

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Photography Journey: Part 3.

My second semester was an improvement over the first, mostly because I was more in-depth in my photography classes, surrounded by other photographer-wanna-bes, and finally feeling like I was being initiated into that club I so wanted to be a part of. That second semester, I made friends, slowly and quietly found myself entering a small group within the photography classes where inside jokes were born and where we all worked hard alongside each other, the competition absent and instead a sense of encouragement for one another and acceptance. We didn't see each other as "the competition"...we were in it together, we were friends. It made school so much more bearable.

The classes weren't easier or the work load smaller, but working with others made it easier in a way.
And I threw myself into my photography classes. They only reassured me that I was where I was supposed to be. I loved every part of it (except perhaps those damn tool caddy assignments!).
The more I learned, the more I became part of that club. My first class in-studio was
extremely intimidating. The more advanced students knew wherever went, and how to set everything up, while I stood to the side, helpless and feeling very much the part of a newbie. But I also remember the semester where I, too, walked into that studio, the pro. As my friend Kate stated, "For once we're the pros and not the newbies..." Such a good feeling, let me tell you!
2012: we weren't competitors. We were friends.

School still wasn't without its share of tears. The studying was a killer. Late nights...the night I sat up until 3am, bawling over math because I had a test the next day...the headaches, migraines over studying....the notes galore, the photos I snapped...it all went into the days of school.

Along came my required Business class. I went into it still determined to have my own photography business one day. Then the class came and smacked me across the face. Who knew that to run one's own business, one has to devote 99% of her time to business and only 1% to photography in order to be successful? While some can be passionate about both photography and business and easily combine them, I just cannot. Business is NOT a passion and I decided there was no way I could start my own business. Perfect. I knew I loved photography but now I had no idea what I wanted to do, outside of perhaps work in a studio. The class made me question my priorities...did I love photography enough? I did, it turned out.

I entered 2 photographs into the Spring Exhibit at my school and one of my photos was chosen to hang in the exhibit. I was *thrilled*. Imagine my nervousness as I sat in the school cafeteria for the honor's night. One photo from the exhibit would be chosen as Best of Category. Would mine make 2nd place? I sat, surrounded by my family, barely noticing all the other awards being handed out for all the graphic design categories. Finally it was time. I heard my name. I heard the applause. I saw the blur of people and the floor and the walls as I got up and walked to the front. My photography teacher stood there, his hand outstretched and a grin on his face as he shook my hand and handed me the certificate.

For the first time in my life, I was proud of me. 

For my last semester, instead of taking just my last, four, required classes I decided to add a fifth class: photojournalism. Just as my first semester was hell, so was my last one in a way. Between the mixture of tough classes, confusing teachers, and mix-ups involving my classes and graduation, I found myself feeling very discouraged. On top of that, all the friends I'd made had graduated with their certificates in Photography the prior semester. I told a friend, "School can't let me leave without a fight." This past fall was difficult. I studied my butt off, feeling like it was never enough. Still feeling like a failure even though I hadn't acquired a grade lower than an A- in the past. My GPA was high, and yet I still felt like I had to fight to accomplish anything. The last 6 weeks of classes felt like they dragged on forever. And then finals came. And then. They were over. Time has sped by since then. And then, the other day the mailman dropped a white, thick envelope in the mail. I ripped it open and pulled out that little black book with the tiny piece of paper inside.

I did it. Two and half years of tears, fears, heartaches, headaches, constant tiredness, struggling, fighting, killing myself, feeling like a failure...and a tiny piece of paper saying it was all worth it. I'm not a failure. I accomplished something. I did this. I DID this. In spite of everything, in spite of the times where I felt like I couldn't, the times where I felt worthless and felt like giving up...there's a tiny piece of paper saying that I made it and that I did well. A friend asked me, "How do you feel to be DONE?" It feels...weird. It feels...great. But on one hand, it feels like...it's not done...it feels like just one step up a staircase. It just means I'm facing the next step. But I'm not worrying about that now. I'm taking delight in the fact that I'm done! I'm graduated! I've finished this chapter!
I did it.



Wednesday, January 1, 2014

365

Day 346:
Last class of the semester...


Day 347:
Unpacking in our new library!


Day 348:
Poor girl photographer - I use a canon rebel, tripod, reflector, and window light.


Day 349:
Studying my butt off for my psych exam. 


Day 350:
Birthday present from the grandparents!


Day 351:
Christmas gift from Madeline


Day 352:
Last study session of the semester...


Day 353:
Celebratory-I-just-finished-the-semester-and-survived-and-am-now-a-graduate coffee!!


Day 354:
Birthday package from Grace!


Day 355:
Truth


Day 356:
Juji: "I didn't cry ovah Frozen but I did do this..."


Day 357:
A night of writing


Day 358:
Bet my mug is cooler than your mug


Day 359:
There was one blonde and one brunette...


Day 360:
Sunset


Day 361:
I am who I am


Day 362:
 Krista & Gen took me out for my birthday to the cutest dessert place ever. 


Day 363:
 I like balloon animals. 


Day 364:
And we're open! Ready or not!


Day 365:
Sam: "Juji, how do we feel about the New Year?"
Juji: "Gaaaaah."

And there you have it. Project 365-Instagram is Complete!
Happy New Year! 


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

365


Day 323:
Light through a bottle


Day 324:
This is what happens when I pack boxes...


Day 325:
Unicorns! Squee!


Day 326:
I look like a frikkin cyberman.
"You are incompatible, you must be deleted."


Day 327:
Sam: What do you think about this pic of you?
Juji: It's good. And creepy. Like really creepy. But good too.


Day 328:
This is what we think of each other


Day 329:
I have two hearts. That makes me the Doctor, right?


Day 330:
Missing a friend, starting a trend


Day 331:
Every. frikkin. morning.


Day 332:
Happy 1st night of Hanukkah!


Day 333:
Happy freaking Thanksgivingkah from us!


Day 334:
Sunset lighting and window reflection


Day 335:
Twinkle lights are up!


Day 336:
Behind the scenes of a photo shoot!


Day 337:
Wicked.


Day 338:
Results of above said photo shoot


Day 339:
I ride to school in comfort. Btw, Catching Fire was an AMAZING film.
Best film of the year for me! Saw it twice so far...hope to make it a third time!


Day 340:
Just chilling with coffee on a rocking chair in a packed up temporary library space!


Day 341:
Hello there new children's room!


Day 342:
Love this movie to pieces. Can we just say how wicked cute Josh Hartnett is??


Day 343:
C. S. Lewis


Day 344:
Children's books on the new children's room book shelves! Making progress!


Day 345:
My classmate Jon printed some of my photos for me!


Day 346:
If I don't dream about finals tonight, it'll be about these damn red boxes.