Words

In the film The Book Thief Max, a Jew in hiding, asks Leisl, his protector, to describe the day to him. She responds with a cliche answer and he corrects her...

If your eyes could speak, what would they say...

It's the best advice I believe every writer should apply to their writing. One of my greatest struggles with my novels is to capture the story in a way that shows my readers how I've envisioned it. I have a vivid imagination and see my stories as if they were films inside my mind. It is incredibly easy for me to get into the rut of thinking that people should just envision the same film as I've seen it in my own mind. Weirdly enough, it doesn't always work that way with just roughly describing the story. It takes a unique approach of writing to capture each scene as I've seen it unfold.

If my eyes could speak, what would they say? They'd speak the depth and hues of colors, the warmth and comfort of relationships, the pointed and prickly way words can stick on a person...

This year's inspiration for my novels is simple...to write what my eyes say.

Writer's Block

There are times when writing drives me completely insane! I mean, the times when it just won't flow out and I'm stuck with these scenes in my head and yet no way to get them out, pen to paper! It's so completely aggravating. Which is why I am so excited to say that brilliance has struck in a completely different form...and that brilliance came from...*drumroll*...Pinterest, where else? :P

Pinterest is good for many different things...I'll admit, I'm addicted. ;) Who isn't, these days?
Anywho, I found an image on Pinterest of a journal...a journal overflowing with pictures and words and ticket stubs and postcards...little pieces of beauty. And it struck me as I saw that image: that is exactly what my novel is about! Finding beauty, even in little things...even in times when it's hardest to find anything of beauty. And as I discussed these ideas with my favorite writing friend: Scarlett!...I found myself getting more and more excited. I decided to try something new...something more 3-D when it came to capturing the thoughts and feelings and emotions of my characters. 

I've recently started to edit my novel, transcribing it from 3rd person POV to 1st person. It's been very strange, to say the least, especially since it's been years and years since I attempted to write a novel in first person. Needless to say, the first time I attempted it years ago was not successful. I found it to be much too difficult. Yet, ever since I started this novel, something kept nagging me at the back of my mind that this novel was *meant* to be written in first person. I ignored it but eventually had to give in. And happily, it's made writing the novel that much easier!

All that to say, I've begun to place myself in the shoes of my protagonist...to try to *be* her. What have I done? I've taken novel planning to the next level. ;) 

I took all my scrapbooking supplies, a blank journal, all my magazines and spare pictures/postcards, etc. and plopped them down on my bedroom floor. With a corkboard and a fun playlist playing on my boombox...oh, yes, and don't forget a cup of tea!...I began to write, to piece together, to tape, to cut, to glue, to transcribe, to scribble...I lost myself in the world of Julian & Simon.

It's not necessarily the journal of Julian, my protagonist, so much as a journal of my discovering new people. I write out scenes for my  novel, I jot down notes, I paste in photographs and magazine clippings that illustrate what I'm trying to say. I put down photos of places and people that Julian sees.

What I'm doing is viewing the world through a character's eyes. 

It seems completely insane, doesn't it? To get one's self so wrapped up into a novel and to go to so much trouble to do so. It is insane! I'll admit it, readily! But it's also fun! And here's hoping it causes the juices to flow!

How far do you go to overcome writer's block? ;) 

Silly Girl

My closest friends will tell you...

I am loud. I am passionate. I can be obnoxious. I am opinionated. And I am not afraid of sharing those opinions.
I can be bitchy and have my off days where I seem to make everyone angry at me.

My friends show me grace because they know I'm better than my bitchy moments. They hold me back when I'm tempted to say more than I should. They tell me when I'm crossing a line and when I really should rethink how I approach people.

But.

They also know, I take life seriously. My opinions? My loudness? My passions? Nothing is formed lightly. I think through things. Over and over and over. I am a perfectionist. I work hard and and try to perfect myself. When I see how I am wrong, I try to refocus. I may be bitchy at times but I never take serious matters lightly. While I may not always come right out and say exactly what it is I believe, I am an open book to anyone who asks me. I have nothing to hide when it comes to my beliefs, my faith, my morals. I realize that anything I write on this blog is out there for the public to see. And yes, it's made me re-think posts, it's made me hesitate. I go with my gut instinct. If I feel a hesitation, then I generally take the post back. I trust  my intuition. And if I feel I may be crossing a line, I run the posts across a best friend...several best friends sometimes.

I know some people come to my blog and see it merely as a silly girl's blog, a silly girl's pointless words, a silly girl acting all bitter toward men and promoting feminism, a silly girl shouting into the wind.

Maybe I am silly. Maybe I am shouting into the wind. But I am serious. I think hard about things, I try to understand things, and I write about things because writing is how I best express myself.
If I see something I strongly disagree with out there in the world then I do not belittle those concerns or fears. I think about them, I try to understand them, and then if I still feel strongly, I write about them.

I won't lie and say I don't care what people think about me. But the fact is...unless a person genuinely cares about me, and me about them, then I really don't care. The opinions of people who don't know me don't upset me.

I used to care, I used to form myself into a different girl for each friend, suiting my personality to each person. I wasn't myself. I am through with that and I will no longer hide when I feel strongly about something. People, if you feel something is right, then don't hide from it.

Silly, I may be, but I am not a girl. I am an adult. I am a woman. I am my own person, forming my own opinions. I am under the authority of no one but my God. I am me. Sam. I am not just a human being. I am a person. I am serious, loud, obnoxious, bitchy, concerned...and I'm done hiding it.

"Writers are desperate people..."

For each book I finish reading, I bring home two more. It's a vicious, never-ending circle. And I love it.

So much of my reading stacks these days are made up of children's and young adult novels. Why? Two reasons really...I read when I'm tired these days, and the last thing I want is a particularly deep book that needs my entire mind to focus on. (No, I save those books for when I'm most energized in my mind!) Instead I choose children's and young adult books because of my love for them. The simple yet meaningful or total fluff and fun! stories that you can get totally sucked into, no matter what age you are.

But most importantly, I have been immersing myself into the world of young adult novels because I am writing a young adult novel. Part of the whole process of writing this novel has me digging deep into the mind of young, teenage Sam as well as reading book after book of young adults struggling with some issue in their lives. The language, the culture, the thought-process...it's like research for a  fictional story. On top of all that I have also dug out my own journals from ages 16-20 and oh the flood of memories comes back! Experiencing those feelings all over again, understanding, sympathizing with, and cringing at my old self. I went through those same novel-like moments of struggling to discover who I am.

In the odd yet brief, free moments that I have when I'm not reading, I am writing. My novel is coming along so slowly because the words have to be right with this novel. The understanding and opinions and attitudes of my characters...the struggles...all of it has to be as real as possible. But a little bit every other day or so, several sentences are added and the more I get to know my characters, the more I relate to them.

Isn't that why we read in the first place? We relate and yet it's not real...merely a distraction from life.
I won't lie, I have thought several times of giving up on this novel because I feel like I relate too much with the characters, and because all this reading and digging back into my past has brought back hard memories as well as pleasant ones.  But there is a side to me, the teenage Sam who wants this novel to be written. A book about young people who struggle and grow and crave understanding. It is a novel that must be written. So, here I am, comfortably situated on the couch, pillows behind my back, Pandora playing, and a cup of tea nearby as I let the words slip from fingers to keys. I know it won't be a great novel and most likely will never be published, but it will be mine. It is already mine...words that are a part of me in a way that some people cannot understand. And even if no one ever reads it, I know there will be a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction once I've finished this novel, because I am a writer and sometimes there are words that just need to be written.

Isn't that why writers write, after all? It's not because we love it, although we do...there are days where we absolutely loathe writing. It's not because we are passionate about words, although we are...there are days where we passionately wish we'd never write another word. It's because we must. However, I find that people assume that because I'm a writer that I write everyday. Normally, this is true...these days I tend to write every day, either in the form of a letter or a blogpost or a journal entry. However, I can go weeks, even months without writing a single word for myself. This is especially true during a school semester. I get over-loaded with essays and papers and assignments for school writing that my desire for any other writing becomes burnt out. Do I believe a writer has to write everyday to be a writer? No, I don't. I think a writer writes when he or she simply needs to. If there is the desire to write and you follow up on that desire, you are a writer, in my book.

Tell me, why do you write? What do you write? Perhaps the words come out in a trickle or in a steady stream. Perhaps they appear once every blue moon or perhaps every day. I am not a strong writer in the sense that my writing is spectacular, nor do I fool myself to believe that many people read this blog or enjoy it. But I write because the words come. More often than not they come messily and in a confused ball that seems to just spew out of my mind.

So, yes, please, tell me, why do you write? Share something with me, ask about guest-posting on my blog! Share your blog! Share a novel, a poem, a journal entry...anything! I am intensely curious about other writers who write because they must.