INFJ Part 3

INFJs continued...

Why I am a Feeler:

• I decide based on feeling. How do I judge something? Much like my intuitive nature, I base decisions on feelings. Shopping: Do I like this top? No. Yes. Hardly ever is it maybe. I either like it or I don't. However, on the other hand, I have a very reasonable mind. Or rather, I try to curb my feelings and not allow them to control me. As a girl it is very easy for me to give in to my feelings and hormones, but at the same time I have a reasoning mind that conflicts with the emotions. 
• I appear warm and friendly. Depends who you're talking to. My besties tell me I am very cool and standoffish...the Ice Queen. But then, there are friends at school who tell me they sat next to me in a class or approached me because I seemed nice. I am the girl who is forever approached by friends and strangers for help or just a listening ear. It really is funny how people confide in me in so short of a time. I don't *try* to invite it, particularly, and yet it happens. I'm told I'm much too sympathetic. 
• I am convinced by how I feel. Sometimes. A lot of the time when I don't like someone or something, it's because I just have a *feeling*. And it can be hard for me to reason why. For instance...I, as an introvert, do NOT like being touched. It is hard for me to put into words *why*. The only person whose hugs I enjoy are my 5 year old sister's. Everyone else's make me highly uncomfortable. A lot I put up with because it is expected. But there are times when just the thought of being hugged makes my mind completely cringe and get all anxious. It is just incredibly uncomfortable for me. And like I said, it's hard to reason why. It's just a feeling. A sense of discomfort that I have.
• I am diplomatic and tactful. I try to be at least. Generally speaking, when writing something controversial I tend to write and rewrite it at least 2-3 times before I post it. And when debating a subject, I try to NOT get someone mad at me. I hate hate conflict. Oftentimes, however, I get caught up in my own passion that I forget about the other person. This creates conflict and I have to backpedal quickly. :P 
• I value harmony and compassion. So true. I will do whatever it takes to avoid conflict and controversy and confrontations. (Those evil C words). I much prefer peacefulness and getting along. I tend to drop things when I sense myself getting too angry. Or I try to. I am unsuccessful a lot of the time. I much prefer harmony to fighting, though. I realize, however, there are some battles that must be fought. Especially when putting up boundaries. Compassion is very close to my heart. I am the girl who roots for the underdog, who cries over photographs of pain and suffering, who desires more than anything to make something better...I hate when my 5 year old sister feels uncomfortable or in pain or scared. Stories of child abuse, the sex slave trade...stories of tragedy...they totally get to me and break my heart. 
• I take things personally. Ouch. Yes. It is hard for my ego when someone snaps my pride in half. Or when someone laughs at me. Or when someone points out some fault in my life. As a perfectionist this is REALLY hard for me to accept and I *do* take it personally. It's a struggle in my life to understand that some comments people make are meant to be taken as personally as I take them. I have to remind myself of the speaker and intent behind a comment, rather than the words themselves. 
• I am quick to compliment others. I'm not entirely sure about this...I mean, I try to. Probably more so to acquaintances/friends than those closest to me, mainly because I take those around me for granted. Shameful but true. 
• I am motivated by appreciation. Oh yes. Especially in the form of words. A praise makes my day! I take people's words too personally so it is very easy to encourage or discourage me through words. A praise, however, motivates me to continue on and to do better. 
• I avoid arguments and conflicts. Ugh, yes. It makes me highly uncomfortable. There is nothing I hate more than verbal screaming matches. Scares the hell out of me.

Because I am such a feeler I have a tendency to love and hate people. There is a strong desire to help those who are hurting, and yet, there are times when I just LOATHE being around people. As a feeler I want to save the weak, yet as an introvert I just want to be left alone.                                       Also, as a feeler...I find it hard to trust people. I have to fully trust a person in order to feel completely comfortable around them, in order to allow them to fully know me. And it takes an ever rarer type that I enjoy having touch me in the form of a hug. As I said, at the moment, it is only one person, which is hard to explain why. It's just the way it is. 

Next time...Judger.