What It Is Like...

I talk to my writing friends...and we've often discussed what it's like for each of us to be a writer. Because each writer is different...how we view things, how we think, how we react to our characters, how we write.

I think one of the things that really adds to my being a writer is my vivid imagination. I'm the sort of person who imagines the oddest things...not to sound gruesome or anything, but I've wondered in my mind what it would be like if I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. How would I fall? How would my arm look? How much pain would it be?
My mind is rather curious...my thoughts go by very much like a movie inside my head. It's like looking through the eyes of someone else and seeing things happen from a totally different perspective. And yet, at the same time, I am inside the head of whomever I'm imagining.

“Oh, Mark, please be safe! God, I know he's in Your very capable hands, but could you please just surround him with even more extra care? Just let him be safe!” Karrie breathed the prayer out loud, as she finally reached the end of the pier and went up onto the street. She found herself in a very ugly side of the neighborhood. There were old, broken down and dark-looking buildings all around. She shivered as she stood looking about. It almost seemed as if the sun had darkened over this neighborhood and was staying hidden behind a cloud on purpose, just to make it all seem more horrible than it really should have been. She walked slowly up the street towards some of the buildings feeling her dread building.

When I wrote that bit, I was inside Karrie's mind. In my own mind, I could see her quite clearly, looking around, approaching the dark buildings, the cloudy sky making the whole scene more frightening than it would've been in the daylight...yet, at the same time, I was inside her, feeling the fear and worry she felt. I could feel that she was scared of approaching the buildings, but at the same time she had another fear that was worse.

I wouldn't say that my books are REAL to me...I know really they aren't real. But inside, I can FEEL what my characters feel.


My mind is forever over-flowing with questions...What is it like to be terrified? I think it over...imagining worst-case scenarios in my mind, causing a feeling of terror to come over me. This is where it's hard to explain what it's like for me...in some weird way, I can make myself feel sadness, fear, bitterness, scorn, laughter...all the emotions that I put into my characters. I have an odd trait, where as I'm writing out a scene with different emotions, I'll stop and try to FEEL those emotions. It gives me a better taste of what it's like, and able to write about it more. Perhaps I don't exactly go into detail about the emotion...maybe I'll just write:

“You couldn't kill me.” --- (named blocked out so as not to give away spoilers) whole face was contorted into a sneer.

It doesn't go into how scornful, how evil, and how confident that character was feeling. But I feel those feelings just by reading that sentence, because I brought myself to feel those feelings while writing them.

Another odd trait I have is to act out bits of the story...or rather, try out things my characters are doing, just to see exactly how it would look (Sometimes I stand in front of a mirror. lol.) and how it would feel.

Karrie looked disappointed but smiled.
When I wrote that it didn't seem weird to write it. Then I stopped and re-read it. I had to ask myself, "Is it possible to look disappointed and smile at the same time?"
I tried it. It's hard, but it is possible. So I kept it in.
A character leers...what exactly does a leer look like? I try it.
A character grimaces, I grimace.


Talking to my writing friends, I've come across a couple who do some of the same weird actions as me, and others simply tell me that I'm a "highly dramatic person who feels the need to live her characters".
I don't live my characters...I just happen to feel what they feel. They surprise me constantly, just as real people would. They make me laugh, on rare occasions they have even made me cry.


I find my best writing time is in the evening...I am a mystery writer. While I do have a vivid imagination, I also struggle with thinking about murderers and villains in the daytime, when they just seem silly. At night, in the dark, they become more real. And it's easier to feel their emotions and to write about them. Weird, yes. Morbid? Maybe slightly. (No worries, I have no longings or tendencies to go and murder someone. :P)

I also tend to stop and find myself frowning while I write. It's not that I'm unhappy or angry with what I wrote...I think it helps me to concentrate better. It's more of a slight crease between my eyebrows, as I struggle to write exactly what I see in my mind. Sometimes, instead of a frown, it's a stupid, sappy grin.

And you will never, never (okay, very rarely) see me writing without earbuds plugged into my ears. Music is a necessity when I'm writing.


I don't write what I think. I write what I see. What I see in the real world. What I see in books. What I see in movies. But most especially, what I see in my mind...the over-reactive imagination of a writer. What is it like? It is never boring. It is exciting. It is fascinating. It is like breathing. It is...a passion.


*All exerts from "Switched"...do not steal! Not that you'd probably want to, but still. :P