Part 3: I Am Loved

As I said already, even I struggle with accepting someone, showing them tolerance when they are so very different from myself. It's hard in those moments when you really don't understand why someone is the way they are, or why they make decisions as they do. But sometimes, when you make the deep connection of true, real friendship, you just *do*...there's no thought or question in your mind that you will accept them, you will tolerate them, because they are your bosom friend. 

Amy already shared with you her side of our story, now I am going to share mine. 

Amy was right...we are very different. And yet somehow it works. When I first met Amy, she had become a new member of a girls' only forum I ran. I intimidated her (me! intimidating HER of all people!!) and she...well, I distinctly remember thinking she and her sister were the two sweetest girls I'd ever met. So sweet that it didn't feel POSSIBLE. Boy, was I wrong. ;) It is possible. But that sweetness also hides a mischievous nature and an abundance of silliness. 

We both struggled as teens, discovering who we were, trying to become the perfect godly women we *should* be, and often we would nearly headbutt over how to go about that. Almost. But never quite. Because even during that time of being completely different, we tolerated each other. We accepted each other. All because we loved each other. 

I remember the one time where we each were intent on converting the other. And we agreed to present our case to each other. I sent her a book on keeping the Saturday Sabbath and Biblical Feast Days. She sent me the DVD of "Amazing Grace: The History & Theology of Calvinism". I laugh now, looking back...the two of us so determined not to be changed but wanting to be tolerant, and both of us digging into each other's beliefs to debate with each other at a later time. I remember our discussion after we both read/watched each other's book/dvd. I was growing frustrated that Amy wasn't appearing to understand and then I realized...she was probably thinking the same thing about me. And then it changed for me. I learned to accept that it was okay. 

That wasn't the true test of our acceptance for one another. In fact, when the true test came, I didn't even see it as a test. But looking back, I see how much I put Amy through and my heart just overflows that she stuck through the worst of times...for me. 

My best friend died. Quite suddenly and the impact of it all caused me to break down. In just a matter of days, I shoved everyone out of my life to grieve on my own. The sympathy, the love, the desire people had to show me they cared and wanted to talk and wanted to be there for me drove me crazy. I could not stand it. And I remember getting so angry and frustrated that Amy would not leave me alone. I was so blinded by my depression that I could not see that she was genuinely concerned for me. That she loved me so much that she wanted to stand with me while I hurt. Over and over and over again, I kept pushing her away. And it hurt her. So much. Now, it breaks my heart that it did. 

But. She did not give up on me. She waited. And when I finally let her back in my life, my testing her hadn't ended. I had changed through my depression. I was a completely different person. I'm sure I was overly-serious to the point of being obnoxious, I was even more blunt and I probably had a "I don't give a shit" kind of attitude toward the world. 

She accepted me, all the same. All because she loved me. 

To this day, Amy and I are still vastly different in so many ways. Seriously. How can my bestie love "The Newsies"?? THE NEWSIES! And Justin Bieber! *facepalm* And yet, if you talk to her, she'll say, "How can MY bestie love 'Harry Potter'??? And 'Napoleon Dynamite'??"

Oh, gosh, can she STILL drive me crazy! This girl is the energizer bunny compared to my tortoise self. She is always going going going, no matter what. And I am the evil Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde if I don't get enough sleep! Man, this girl puts up with so much crap from me, it's ridiculous! Oh, yes, and the creepy way she gets me to sing Taylor Swift in the car is just...embarrassing. I don't know how she does it.

But you know what? It doesn't matter. As the days and years go by, we seem to grow more alike in what is important. And when you agree on what's important and when you learn how to accept and tolerate differences, nothing holds you back in creating a beautiful friendship. 

Amy. This wonderful girl is amazing. She listens to my every rant with nothing but love and encouragement. She prays for me, no matter what the issue is. When we talk about getting together, she never puts it off. She is always ready to commit to a plan. We connect every. single. day, whether it be text or Facebook. People think friendship can last through random visits and sporadic chats. And maybe it can. But a best friendship lasts because of the strong commitment between two people. Amy is committed through not just the good times but the worst of times. She never gives up on me. And you don't know how that makes me cry. To be so accepted because of a strong love. 

Amy doesn't judge me. In fact, I learned through her example what true acceptance looks like. True acceptance is unconditional love. Do you know how rare it is to receive unconditional love? I thought about it and realized just how FEW people in my life right now love me unconditionally. How FEW friends love me unconditionally. And pretty much at the top of the list is Amy. 

I am going to make a reference that Amy won't get since she is so not a nerdy person who watches Doctor Who. *AHEM* *COUGH* *LOOKS POINTEDLY AT HER* 

But Amy, my bestie, so to speak, really is "...the girl who waited". She waited for me through the bad time and was still there when I returned to her. Her friendship, her sweetness, her acceptance, and most importantly, her love was stronger than ever. 

Do I understand her, with all her energy and silliness and her intense dislike of coffee (seriously, how are we even friends??)? Not always. But her love for me and her acceptance of me reaches beyond the petty things. And that is what connects us. Our love and acceptance for each other. Amy taught me to love unconditionally as a best friend. A love so strong that not even separation, whether it be caused by depression or bodies of water, can end it. 

Amy accepts me. And I know that because of her, I am loved.