I just wanna scream...

*drum roll*

Sure, it looks awesome. Sure, it smells like the BEST thing ever. Sure, it tastes beyond AMAZING. But as much as I LOVE to say how much I LOVE coffee...I have to admit, it is EVIL too.

My poor little body just cannot handle the caffeine. And that's on a regular consuming basis...go two weeks and suddenly jump into an enormous mug of STRONG coffee, and I turn into a real-life zombie.

It all starts real normal-like...the typical caffeine symptoms: giddiness, lots of energy, talking really fast, making a mess of my room...Then. The doom comes over me.

I start to pant. I giggle. Over everything. Oh, yes. I giggle. But wait. That's not the worst of it. "HEAVEN FORBID it gets worse!!" you may say. But, yes, it does.

Then comes the hysterical stage. The giggles get louder. Then transform into tears. I cry over the sappiest things. Deaths of non-living, non-breathing characters, the mess in my room, the shoe I can't find, the way my fingers look mega long. Yup. Pathetic.

Then I start to hit the bottom. My energy takes a massive dive off the deep end and I sink. Depressing blues, listlessness, stumbling about, panting over anything energizing, feeling exhausted just watching people run, and trying to keep on moving.

And lastly. I hit bottom, completely exhausted...the only things I can move are my fingers. Sometimes, not even those.

Why do I do it to myself? All for the flavor?

Yeah, so you guessed it.

I. Am. Crazy.

It's the coffee.

It made me this way.

Coffee. A blessing. And a CURSE. Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUH.

Alone...

"I like the quiet of being alone, yet I hate being alone in the quiet." Anonymous

WARNING: Sappiness within. Proceed with caution.

You think you have the bestest girl friends in the world?? Think again! I DO! Seriously. I cannot begin to rave about my best friends.
Want to know how I know they're the best?

They let me cry on them.
They listen when I need to rant.
They let me spout on and on to them.
They tell me I can, when I say can't.
They speak sense, when everything's mixed
They hug me when all words fail
They call me when my life is terrible
They let me scream and wail.
They love me, even when they see the worst in me.
They care about me, even when I've done the worst to them.
They uplift me in every single way.
They stick by me when no one else will.
They laugh with me.
They make me laugh.
They tease me.
They cry with me.
They aren't too ashamed to cry on me
Or say what's on their mind
Or ask for a hug when they need one
Or ask for prayer...
They are loyal, sweet, good, and true
They stick by me and love them, yes I do!
I love you girls! You know who you are!!

Sometimes, when you find that something you wish for can never be...when everything seems like disappointments...when you feel miserable...when you wish you had never had a passion...it just helps to stop thinking. To be "no one" for a little while. To disappear. As much as I would like it, I can never physically disappear. Sometimes, I can't even hide away and cry. Sometimes, I can't even cry. I hide myself in the music. Close my eyes. And disappear. And yes. It can be hard to come back to reality afterwards. But the music helps me. It doesn't take away all the hurt, all the disappointment. But it lifts me and helps me pick myself up again.

Love