Day 16.

Day 16. What is in my bag? 

The original question asked what was in my handbag/purse but I don't really use a purse that often. I use my messenger bag, as you may have seen in past blogposts that I've written.
A funny fact about that bag...people at my school recognize me not by my face but by my bag. Very odd. I guess I don't have one of those faces. :(

Anywho...this is what is in my bag:

For the record, no, I do not keep a cup of coffee in my bag. :P 

Okay, what's we got...

- Keys. 

- Makeup

- Camera battery

- Random change (I really should put it in my change jar...)

- Chapstick

- Cough drops (from like forever ago)

- 3 pens (just in case I lose one, and one runs out of ink...)

- Lip gloss

- Wallet (currently has money in it...but not for long... *sadface*)

- Ear buds

- Old ipod (I really should take it out of my bag since I just use my iphone now...

So, dudes, next time you generalize gals as purse hoarders that move their entire houses with them, just remember this gal. I don't use a purse and I carry the minimum. :P And I think you'll find these items really are necessities. 

Day 15.

Day 15. My Worst Habits

One rather annoying habit I have is not taking care of my nail polish. Part of it is that I actually kinda like how it can look, starting to fade away on the nails. But it's mostly just laziness. I'm not always in the mood to stop and take off the chipped polish and repaint. Especially during the school semester...I'm way too busy or too tired to stop and change colors. I'll simply wear the polish until it's gone. :P Which is super awesome for the nails, I know. ;)

What's an annoying habit you have? 

365

Day 4: Librarian earrings on a librarian/my co-worker

Day 5: Girls' night with Krista & Genny, complete with interesting conversations

Day 6: I am a photographer

 Day 7: A kickass journal from Joy. :)

Day 14.

Day 14. What Am I Afraid Of?

What am I afraid of? Hmm. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of peas, killing someone on the road, ticks, empty coffee mugs...

Okay, okay, so you wanted a serious reply.

I am afraid of failure.

I don't know why it is that I grew up such a perfectionist. It's like an inner battle that goes on inside my head. Half of me argues that it's okay to mess up and learn and grow and be changed throughout life. The other half of me argues back that failure is just not acceptable. I have to be perfect at whatever I do.
"Why? Why is it not acceptable?" asks 1st half.
"It just isn't." replies 2nd half.

It's the way I'm built. I have this inner system where if I didn't force myself to stop and focus on relaxing, I would work until I killed myself. Particularly in school. I stress so easily over school because I feel I have to prove myself somehow. I have to be a perfect student. And the sad thing is, it's not so much that I feel I have to prove my worth to the world...but to myself. Failure is the equivalent of less than perfect to my mind. Failure to my mind means I am not good enough.

But then my sensible side asks me, What is perfection?
Beautiful things aren't always perfect. I see that all around me. In fact, I make a point of trying to see beauty in the everyday things...things that don't seem, originally, to be "perfect".

Being a perfect student doesn't mean straight A's. It means, I try my best and learn. It means, gaining the knowledge I need, without obsessing about it. It means not putting school first in my life. The failure isn't when I get a low grade. The failure is when I put school above my relationships, when I put it as first in my life. I'm not a failure if I don't get that 4.0 GPA. I am a failure when I push myself to the point of stress because of school, when I could be doing something better in this world.

Failure isn't the lack of perfection. I am always going to be imperfect at something, no matter how hard I try. The failure is when I allow stress, school, perfectionism to rule my life.

God loves me, as imperfect as I am. He doesn't care about my grades. He defines me, not my grades...and if He defines me, then I do not have the need to prove anything to myself.

Day 13.

Day 13. Favorite childhood book

There were so many! It's always fun to stumble across books I read as a kid, while working...brings back memories!

One of my favorites as a kid, though, was Bread and Jam for Frances by Russell Hoban. A total sweetheart of a book, with awesome illustrations...illustrations which were what drew me to the book as a little kid.

Frances looooooooooooves bread and jam, and refuses to eat anything else. So she doesn't...but was it a good idea after all??

Cute, fun illustrations, predictable story yes, but still amusing in its own way. :) 

Day 12.

Day 12. Dream Job

I think it's rather obvious. :P I want to be a photographer. However, over this past semester, I began to realize more and more how much I reaaaaaaally don't like business. So the idea of running my own business is kinda slowly dying down. I *do* like the idea of working in a studio. Not a small studio in a mall. :P A real studio. That would be amazing-awesome. But who knows...I still love the idea of just going out and shooting photos for people on my own. ;) We'll see what happens!

Day 11.

Day 11. Favorite Quote

I'll share my latest favorite with you. An exert from Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". (Yes, I'm on a Donald Miller roll here...)

"I was watching the news the other night, and they were still covering that story in Mumbai about the terrorists who went on a shooting rampage...when we watch the news, we grieve all of this, but when we go to the movies, we want more of it. Somehow we realize that great stories are told in conflict, but we are unwilling to embrace the potential greatness of the story we are actually in. We think God is unjust, rather than a master storyteller."

How often is that true? How often do we enjoy movies with  no conflict? Can you think of one? It's what makes the story powerful...characters overcoming the worst kind of conflicts. Yet, when they occur in our lives, we so easily get angry at God, because we feel He's being unjust.
But what if, these conflicts are there to make our life stories more powerful. We have the choice to allow them to create a powerful story...
What choice do we choose, though? Are we the whiny character who stomps her foot at God when conflict comes along, and tries to push it away? Or are we the strong character, who stands up to the conflict, willing to face whatever God sends our way?